12/9/2023 0 Comments Being committed![]() ![]() It is also an opportunity to grow personally and spiritually for both of us. Yes, it will be hard today, but the benefits will follow. This is not to say that our relationships are supposed to be all hard work!! Rather, it’s about learning to approach challenges in our relationship with resilience and optimism rather than dread. Without evidence of sacrifice, commitment is largely hypothetical. This willingness to sacrifice has been identified by social scientists as one of the critical indicators of authentic relational commitment. Being willing to make the sacrifices necessary to honour our commitments in our relationships not only is a practical expression of our love for the other, it is a powerful way to practice our life-long mission to grow in maturity and holiness as individuals. It pays in spiritual growth it pays in relational stability it pays in personal integrity and self-respect. It costs time it costs opportunities it costs comfort it costs personal independence.īut commitment – genuine commitment – pays real dividends… particularly in the long-term. The thing about genuine commitment is that unless there is a willingness to make personal sacrifices, it really isn’t commitment. Even working late can seem more pleasant than the other’s company! Speaking kindly and respectfully takes a herculean effort in self-restraint and those social invitations outside the relationship are more appealing than being with the other. At these times our moments together are often draining rather than life-giving. On the other hand, when things are stressed between us, when we’re not good company or easy conversation, our ‘commitment to being committed’ is put to the test. In terms of a short-term cost-benefit analysis, the relationship delivers more instant happiness than the effort it takes. We happily surrender social opportunities because frankly, it’s just more fun to be together than with anyone else.īeing ‘committed’ in an environment like this is so easy it’s difficult to tell whether it’s genuine commitment or just enlightened self-interest. We speak kindly and respectfully to each other because neither is pushing the other’s buttons or being cantankerous. We easily prioritise time together because we enjoy each other’s company. It’s easy to be committed to the relationship when everything is fine between us. There’s a great deal of wisdom to this statement. A friend of ours is fond of saying in relation to successful marriage, ‘it’s a matter of being committed to being committed.’ In other words, we have to be serious about our marriage commitment, willing to tough it out when it’s difficult and put to the test.
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